so that wasnt chicken after all
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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