her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
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then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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