He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
