Texts From Last Night

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  (517): View more from Michigan

  every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot

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  (517): every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot http://tfl.nu/9euo
  Replies (41) Good night (989) Bad night (2094)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.

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  (979): so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together. http://tfl.nu/dxc5
  Replies (15) Good night (4065) Bad night (1140)
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  (805): View more from California

  Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.

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  (805): Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response. http://tfl.nu/yy5l
  Replies (9) Good night (5773) Bad night (727)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.

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  (775): A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins. http://tfl.nu/j7t3
  Replies (23) Good night (4835) Bad night (1248)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit

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  (732): just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit http://tfl.nu/qpl1
  Replies (71) Good night (8038) Bad night (1030)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.

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  (908): Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger. http://tfl.nu/ni0e
  Replies (17) Good night (8180) Bad night (2170)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart

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  (817): His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart http://tfl.nu/4nfy
  Replies (21) Good night (5388) Bad night (1103)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.

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  (423): You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti. http://tfl.nu/u3mr
  Replies (2) Good night (1142) Bad night (2019)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.

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  (814): I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him. http://tfl.nu/ieqp
  Replies (15) Good night (3771) Bad night (881)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.

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  (770): Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance. http://tfl.nu/v36b
  Replies (1) Good night (660) Bad night (476)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.

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  (970): You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday. http://tfl.nu/28cn
  Replies (2) Good night (971) Bad night (426)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.

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  (706): He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex. http://tfl.nu/pzxj
  Replies (5) Good night (1976) Bad night (514)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  How are you getting in?

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I know some influential drag queens

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  (561): How are you getting in? (770): I know some influential drag queens http://tfl.nu/m97v
  Replies (0) Good night (651) Bad night (353)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow

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  (404): So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow http://tfl.nu/zlpp
  Replies (2) Good night (748) Bad night (546)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.

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  (908): On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ. http://tfl.nu/spxo
  Replies (1) Good night (598) Bad night (324)

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