Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football