I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops