how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
