Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.

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(308): View more from Nebraska

i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.

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(302): View more from Delaware

is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?

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(250): View more from British Columbia

my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(662): View more from Mississippi

Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.

(901): View more from Tennessee

BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that

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(207): View more from Maine

you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom

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(434): View more from Virginia

Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"

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(319): View more from Iowa

He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops

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