Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.