Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.

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  (301): Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/igis
  Replies (6) Good night (1486) Bad night (524)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  What'd you say?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I told him I was sleep driving

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  (248): I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work. (1-248): What'd you say? (248): I told him I was sleep driving http://tfl.nu/ghd6
  Replies (3) Good night (1618) Bad night (592)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.

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  (352): You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem. http://tfl.nu/rwe9
  Replies (12) Good night (5108) Bad night (677)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete

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  (717): just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete http://tfl.nu/yzxp
  Replies (28) Good night (4708) Bad night (1963)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?

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  (617): Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness? http://tfl.nu/575t
  Replies (18) Good night (5677) Bad night (837)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold

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  (256): made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold http://tfl.nu/0w5z
  Replies (81) Good night (5278) Bad night (1644)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom

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  (734): Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom http://tfl.nu/itfy
  Replies (48) Good night (22595) Bad night (1426)
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  (+46): View more from Sweden

  being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad

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  (+46): being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad http://tfl.nu/w2cq
  Replies (6) Good night (2548) Bad night (1135)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT

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  (804): IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT http://tfl.nu/e7uf
  Replies (40) Good night (9503) Bad night (1667)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis

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  (215): This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis http://tfl.nu/mvim
  Replies (17) Good night (1686) Bad night (2844)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.

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  (815): I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn. http://tfl.nu/iw95
  Replies (1) Good night (1629) Bad night (734)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care

  (315): View more from New York

  I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.

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  (607): Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care (315): I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt. http://tfl.nu/8ucq
  Replies (4) Good night (1275) Bad night (689)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head

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  (734): I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head http://tfl.nu/48x4
  Replies (1) Good night (597) Bad night (315)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!

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  (416): What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time! http://tfl.nu/7efc
  Replies (3) Good night (633) Bad night (355)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.

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  (336): My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public. http://tfl.nu/yo1q
  Replies (3) Good night (865) Bad night (269)

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