I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
