I have demons in me.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
