we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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