I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
