May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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