I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
