I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
the night ended with taco bell and tears
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
