Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
they need to just BURY HIM!
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
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