I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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