Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
