Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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