Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
