don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
