i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
