I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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