I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
