I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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