Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
