Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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