why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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