Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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