Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
