I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Slut skills are useful in every country.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
