Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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