Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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