No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
