remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
