dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
