end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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