i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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