I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
