My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
