is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
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