i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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