i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
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Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
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Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
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