happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm like, not good at living.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
