this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
