...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize