Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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