Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
