so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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