bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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