Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
i think i just lost a toe
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
