Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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