It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize