So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
