were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.