But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
