i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
