i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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