i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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