Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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