I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
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I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
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All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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